Arstotzka greatest country in the world.
If you want to get in
you will need to bring your papers
and your passport.
If you forge, if you lie, if you cheat you will be detained.
You can not, I repeat, you can not
fool us here on post.
Arstotzka better than Kolechia.
They are stupid and foolish and silly little rats.
We have tanks, we have bombs, we have guns
we have glory too.
There is no cowardly enemy that can bother us.
Arstotzka medicine is best in world.
If you're sick, if you sneeze, or you need another heart.
Or a lung.
We have doctors who will make you feel almost no pain.
If you scream, then they know that you are very much alive.
Arstotzka have best football team in world.
They kick balls, they kick arse, they kick everything you see.
They are great.
They can run, they can jump, they can score so many goals,
other teams should despair, there is no true hope to win.
Arstotzka have best apartments in the world.
They are big, they are grey, they are square and glorious.
You can eat, you can sleep, you can even just relax
and watch all the other countries be really jealous.
Arstotzka economy is best in world.
Every man, every month can afford to eat one loaf.
Our industry is heaviest in world
we melt steel, we burn coal, we make air look really cool.